blogging when i should be jogging...
or sleeping... or doing sudoku puzzles to enhance my brain power... i never thought i'd become a blogger. but here's my story....
so i'm at this backyard barbeque last night, munching on this savory salad -- fresh tomatoes, little broccoli bites, sliced hardboiled egg, big hunks of tangy parmasean all topped with my homemade honey balsamic -- while my sister-in-law's uncle is describing his wife's cancer.
she can barely walk. she's on morphine. the pain is horrible. she has to make herself get up and get out. he has given up his favorite chair and that's where she's camped out -- it's the only thing comfortable enough on her back because her spine is riddled with cancer. i can hear myself crunching. the pleasureable little bites of greens are starting to feel guilty. i'm shaking my head and making myself slow down on my salad. he's saying there's nothing anyone can do. i'm saying how sorry i am and that is so damn lame. and so not enough. i'm eating a really good salad and she's dying. what's wrong with this picture?
it seems odd, but this is the event that precipitated this blog. i have so many thoughts in my brain that jumble about, whirling like the soupy mess in my washer on spin cycle. eating salad while pondering death is only one of them. here's hoping that moving that mess to "paper" will make room in the old noggin for some sanity. because real paper isn't working (how many half-used journals do i own?) and because trapped inside, it's started to feel a bit cramped.
this blog is called the mamacoaster because that's the ride i'm currently on. a lot of what you'll see here will be thoughts about my kids -- the three hooligan boys (and the big hubby hooligan too) are what dominate my days (and unfortunately, some of my nights!) but some of it will be just me. a lot of what you read might seem depressing. don't worry about me -- writing is a way i get it all out. i fret and fuss with words, but i also lay down every night and thank God for the goodness he has given me. i even have a bumper sticker on my mamamobile that says "life is good!" really. cuz it is!
so i'm at this backyard barbeque last night, munching on this savory salad -- fresh tomatoes, little broccoli bites, sliced hardboiled egg, big hunks of tangy parmasean all topped with my homemade honey balsamic -- while my sister-in-law's uncle is describing his wife's cancer.
she can barely walk. she's on morphine. the pain is horrible. she has to make herself get up and get out. he has given up his favorite chair and that's where she's camped out -- it's the only thing comfortable enough on her back because her spine is riddled with cancer. i can hear myself crunching. the pleasureable little bites of greens are starting to feel guilty. i'm shaking my head and making myself slow down on my salad. he's saying there's nothing anyone can do. i'm saying how sorry i am and that is so damn lame. and so not enough. i'm eating a really good salad and she's dying. what's wrong with this picture?
it seems odd, but this is the event that precipitated this blog. i have so many thoughts in my brain that jumble about, whirling like the soupy mess in my washer on spin cycle. eating salad while pondering death is only one of them. here's hoping that moving that mess to "paper" will make room in the old noggin for some sanity. because real paper isn't working (how many half-used journals do i own?) and because trapped inside, it's started to feel a bit cramped.
this blog is called the mamacoaster because that's the ride i'm currently on. a lot of what you'll see here will be thoughts about my kids -- the three hooligan boys (and the big hubby hooligan too) are what dominate my days (and unfortunately, some of my nights!) but some of it will be just me. a lot of what you read might seem depressing. don't worry about me -- writing is a way i get it all out. i fret and fuss with words, but i also lay down every night and thank God for the goodness he has given me. i even have a bumper sticker on my mamamobile that says "life is good!" really. cuz it is!
posted by mEg at 7:21 PM
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